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<title>It's Britney, Bitch by ahyperactivehero (ahyperactiverhero)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722460">It's Britney, Bitch</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahyperactiverhero/pseuds/ahyperactivehero'>ahyperactivehero (ahyperactiverhero)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drabble, Family Fluff, Gen, The Umbrella Academy (TV) Season 2 Spoilers, Tumblr Prompt, brothers being brothers, mentions of Klaus's cult</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:13:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahyperactiverhero/pseuds/ahyperactivehero</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Klaus and Ben disagree on some of Klaus's "teachings" for his cult.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hargreeves &amp; Klaus Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's Britney, Bitch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I love this show, and when I asked for prompts over on my tumblr I got "Ben and Klaus being dorks," so of course I had to provide! I hope you guys enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“This is a cult,” Ben says one day, almost completely out of nowhere. </p>
<p>Or at least, it would be out of nowhere, if it hadn’t been for recent developments.</p>
<p>“It’s not a cult,” Klaus said, his eyes glued to the paper in front of him. He’d been writing something down for the last half hour, but Ben had never gotten close enough to it to tell what it was.</p>
<p>“It definitely is a cult,” Ben said. “You’re like Manson, but with less murder.” He glanced up to the ceiling, as if he were considering something. “Actually, never mind. Just like Manson.”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Klaus said, finally putting his attention on Ben. “I’ve never asked any of my followers to kill anyone. I really don’t need any more ghosts following us around, you know.” He leaned back until he was practically hanging over the arm of the couch. His back cracked so loudly Ben winced.</p>
<p>“Yeah, might get kind of crowded,” Ben said sarcastically.</p>
<p>“Besides,” Klaus said, ignoring his brother completely. “Manson’s got nothin’ on this.” He waved his hand over his body, as if it were supposed to be impressive. “He wishes he had what I have.”</p>
<p>Ben rolled his eyes again for probably the fortieth time that day. “What are you even doing? You’ve been writing forever.”</p>
<p>Klaus grinned and popped back up. He held his notebook out for Ben to read, although his scratchy handwriting made it hard to decipher what he was looking at. </p>
<p>“Are these lyrics to a… Britney Spears song?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Yes!” Klaus said, bursting out in a short laugh. “I need more material for the people, and who better than Britney, bitch!” </p>
<p>He stared at his brother like one of them had lost their mind, and honestly he wasn’t sure which one of them it was. “You can’t lead a cult with a Britney Spears song.” </p>
<p>The medium clicked his tongue. “Ben, Ben, Ben,” he said, wagging his finger. “First of all, it’s not a cult. Second of all, it’s Britney Spears! Everyone loves her, and her lyrics are divine!”</p>
<p>“You can’t give these people life advice based on Hit Me Baby One More Time,” Ben sighed. </p>
<p>Klaus pouted, looking up at Ben with big eyes. “Come on, man, I know you love Britney!”</p>
<p>“Who doesn’t love Britney?” Ben asked. “But that’s not the point.”</p>
<p>Whatever the point was supposed to be was clearly lost on Klaus. He was staring out the window, past his ghost of a brother with a wistful look on his face.</p>
<p>“Do you remember when we raided Allison’s room for her Britney Spears CD, and we made a choreographed dance to it?” he asked. His expression was sad, his mind clearly thinking about all his siblings that were God only knows where.</p>
<p>“No,” Ben said, as he flopped next to Klaus. Klaus looked at him, clearly upset that he didn’t remember. “But I do remember you sneaking in there and making me learn your dumb dance, though. I also remember you forcing Diego and Luther to watch while Allison threatened to beat us if we ever took her stuff again.”</p>
<p>“Vanya said she’d learn it on the violin so we’d never have to take Allison’s CDs,” Klaus said. He seemed to consider this for a moment before looking away from Ben. “Do you think she ever did? Learn it, I mean. I don’t think I ever heard her play it.”</p>
<p>Ben reached over and patted Klaus on the arm. “I don’t know. You can ask her when we find them.”</p>
<p>“And show Five our dance?” he asked, hopeful.</p>
<p>“You’re pushing your luck.”</p>
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